Dear James
A few months ago I wrote an article about how much you deceived me. For 11 long years I have hated you and everything that you stood for. I always vowed that if I got the opportunity again, I would punish you in ways unimagined.
That opportunity presented itself to me a couple of weeks ago. Manifesting as a glossy update to your tragic tale, I allowed myself to be immersed in your story once again.
I really wanted to hate you more.
I really wanted to kill you, again and again.
And believe me when I tell you, I tried to.
But this time I paid more attention to your story and your plight. I never gave you that opportunity 11 years ago because you filled me with a loathing only set aside for the vagrants and miscreants of this world.
I will admit that Maria is deceptive. She has her reasons. But only you saw her as Mary, and you forced me to view her that way. Don’t you get it James? The way you abandoned Maria in the hallway, to allow her to be taken away from you, was all a metaphor for what happened with Mary.
I realise Mary is not without blame here. Initially I was on her side, because she was the one reaching out for you – and you weren’t there.
I’m sorry now, but I realise that you were. Was Mary really pushing you away? Did you really not want to be there? I don’t know the answers to that, but reading her letter opened up a side of her that would have been difficult to live with and impossible for your emotions to control.
You don’t need to look to me for forgiveness about what you did. Only Mary can truly forgive you – but I feel your story even more. For 11 years I lived a lie when I remember who you were, but I was wrong.
‘In Water’ let me know, what I feel, is the truth. Mary loved you, and you loved her, otherwise why would you return to Silent Hill? When Angela said she knew what you did, I felt your guilt. When Eddie was re-telling how easy it was to snuff out a life, I recoiled in the same horror and shame that you shared – mainly because I realised you weren’t disgusted in him, but in yourself.
I overlooked the fact that Laura seemed to forgive you at the end. She held a value that I should of.
James, I can’t imagine how horrible this would have been for you. But I am sorry that I didn’t look past my own prejudice to see there are two sides to every story.
You did to Mary what she wanted you to do. It was her wish and you obliged, and it’s not up to me, or anyone else to judge you.
When I heard Mary’s final monologue, I admit it made me sad. I think we all made the right choices. There can be no good ending.
Now that I have made my peace with you, I will help Heather on her journey. I hope I uncover her truth along the way, just as I did with you.
You are in a better place James; you did what you needed to do ‘In Water’. I wish I had seen this outcome the first time.
Thank you again, your journey has inspired me.
Regards
Dans
NerdGasm 